


Accidents

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M, for a prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-25
Updated: 2013-02-25
Packaged: 2017-12-03 14:32:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/699286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo and Bofur accidentally get married.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accidents

Bofur was absolutely gleeful-his dreams had finally come true. Bilbo was married to him! Sure the circumstances weren't the best, but Bofur knew that beggars couldn't be choosers. Besides, at least he could skip all the courting junk a second time and try to get onto the real thing.  
It had been an accident really-Bilbo had come back with some elvish treasures as peace offerings, but Thorin had just gotten angrier and yelled at Bilbo for stealing the Arkenstone. He had banished Bilbo-Bofur's heart shattering because of the look on Bilbo's face when he heard the news-from Erebor. Bofur had pulled Bilbo away and given him some food and supplies, and Bilbo tried to thank him, but his voice was too weak. He just handed the treasures to Bofur and turned away, but then turned back. Both of their eyes were bulging out of their sockets.  
"Why are those rings glowing?" Bilbo asked, pointing at them.  
"We might need to question the elves about that," replied Bofur.  
So off they went, and to Thranduil, the giver of the treasures, did they go.  
"I'm so sorry," Thranduil said. "This wasn't supposed to happen."  
"What wasn't?" Bofur asked.  
"Thorin did not touch any of this, Master Baggins?" Thranduil questioned again, raising a light-colored eyebrow.  
"He barely looked at them," Bilbo replied. "Then he just yelled at me about the Arkenstone."  
"My plan failed," Thranduil said.  
"Thranduil, why did the rings glow?" Bofur asked.  
"You were both close when touching them," Thranduil said. "And you were unmarried."  
They both gave him looks of confusion.  
The elven king cleared his throat. "You are married now."  
Those words sent Bofur into shock, but once he recovered he had to keep himself from being a giddy mess. Still, he desperately wanted to grab the hobbit and embrace him like he'd dreamed of so many times before.  
"What?" Bilbo screamed.  
"It wasn't supposed to be like this!" Thranduil said. "You were supposed to hand the rings to Thorin and be married to him."  
"I was supposed to marry Thorin?" Bilbo scowled. "What the hell were you thinking, you filthy treeshagger?"  
Bofur gasped, and he could tell even Bilbo was surprised that he'd said that. Bilbo clearly had picked up more from the dwarves than either of them had originally thought.  
"I'm so sorry!" Bilbo said, his eyes turning frantically to the elven guards who looked like they were going to skin him alive. Bofur's heart filled with pity for him. "I apologize for my outburst."  
Thranduil just sighed. "It's time that I explain." He rubbed his forehead with two fingers of his left hand. "I realized that Thorin, the easy to anger and greedy dwarf that he is, would force you to leave Erebor once he heard the news."  
"Then why did you even send me with those treasures?"  
Thranduil gave Bilbo a sad smile. "Because if you two were tied together than Thorin would be forced to negotiate with us. I am old, so old to where sometimes I wonder if maybe one day I'll be free of this life, and I cannot stand any more bloodshed." He looked directly into Bilbo's eyes. "Would you like to know why I imprisoned your company?"  
"Why?"  
"Because I planned on keeping you all. It was stupid thinking this place could be reclaimed, both from Smaug and from enemies. I was hoping to save lives." His smile evaporated, turning into a frown. Even Bofur was pulled into Thranduil's all-consuming wall of sadness. "I didn't want Thorin to die."  
The elven king burst into tears, falling down his pale face and onto his elegant clothing. It seemed wrong that someone as high up as him would cry, but the tears came. "I knew death would come if he came here, but it seems it will be from war and not Smaug. Now we have nothing to negotiate with because my plan failed."  
There was silence for a good deal of minutes, and everyone seemed to breathe only when they must. Bofur was being consumed by Thranduil's sadness, and he even felt pity for him.  
"I am sorry," he said after some time. "The spell cannot be reversed."  
Bilbo just sighed, his posture slightly slumped. He looked washed out, nothing like the little hobbit that stole his heart the first night in Bag End, the one he wished all the luck in the world to. A defeated look was on his face. Eventually, he turned to face Bofur. "I have been given a place to stay," he said, gently touching his shoulder. "Let us go and sleep."  
The camp was dark save a few fires where food was being roasted. Normally, Thorin would've asked for food, but now his stomach likely couldn't hold it, even if it was empty. The sight of Bilbo looking so sad and defeated made him physically ill, and no matter how much he wished to comfort him, he didn't know how he could.   
The air was thick, a slight chill in the air. From the corner of his eye Bofur could see the people of Lake Town, and their cries broke his heart. Right now he would gladly hand over his share of the gold if he had it with him.  
Inside the tent, a sleeping mat in one corner, Bilbo turned to him. "Would you like anything to eat?"  
Bofur shook his head. "You may get some for yourself, laddie, but I can't eat now."  
Bilbo nodded, then stepped out. "Feel free to get comfortable."  
Bofur was left alone to think. He'd planned in Erebor to question Bilbo about why he still hadn't responded to his signs of courtship, but hadn't had the time to. Now questions ran through his mind, his earlier glee gone.  
He'd loved Bilbo since he'd seen his smooth, pale face and head of copper curls in Bag End. At every moment he could he'd tried to be kind to Bilbo and impress him. They could be called friends. For months he had courted him-giving him his food, protecting him, touching his shoulder, and giving him his coat when he was cold. He neither said yes nor no.  
Bilbo came back with food and an extra sleeping mat. He placed it down, then sat on it. He forgot about his manners and shoved the meat he'd gotten in his mouth, and without eating utensils! Red juice dripped down his chin and fingers, but he looked as though he didn't have the energy to care. When he finished, he placed down his plate. "I'm sorry, Bofur." His voice nearly cracked.  
"Why?" Bofur asked. "Ye did nothing wrong."  
"I got you married to me." The hobbit sighed. "I just wanted to fix your problems for you." He began to cry, but Bofur could do nothing to comfort him.   
Once he stopped, Bofur forced himself to make a joke. "Well I can't say you'd be happy being Fili and Kili's uncle."  
Bilbo gave a weak laugh, but it filled Bofur with happiness.  
"You are correct," Bilbo said.

 

Bofur wondered how his brother and cousin were doing in Erebor. Did they think he was a traitor?  
Bilbo was still asleep, though the sun had been out for hours.  
A man from Lake Town came in, his face grave. "Get prepared," he said. "War is coming."  
Bofur nodded, remembering the sword at his side. He looked down at Bilbo, still sleeping peacefully.  
I'm a married man now, he thought. I better be prepared to fight.

 

The fighting seemed to last for decades. Bofur no longer knew where Bilbo was-he had begged him to put on his ring and run. This had been a dwarven problem, he'd told him, and he shouldn't get mixed up in  this one.  
"What if you die?" Bilbo asked. "What if everyone dies?"  
"Well," Bofur replied, looking the hobbit straight in the eye, "then at least it wasn't by a damn lizard with wings."  
But now the fighting was done and Bilbo was nowhere to be seen. The other dwarves had lived, all of them, even the Durin family who lay sleeping. Just barely had they been saved from death.  
"Bofur," his brother said, wrapping an arm around him, "you're back!"  
"I wasn't gone long!" he replied. Blood still stained his clothing. "We finally got home back, didn't we?"  
"Yes," Bombur said, looking at the sons of Durin, "we did."

 

Bilbo Baggins vanished without a trace for five years. He was a hero-Thorin did everything he could to make other dwarves realize that. Whenever it was asked why he left with Bilbo, he just said he had to.  
The elven magic said they were married, but it had no effect on him in other ways. He still wondered how Bilbo was, though no answer ever seemed to come.  
And then one day news came that a hobbit was in Erebor. It reached Bofur's ear too late, and once he saw him he was speaking with Thorin, a small chocolate-haired hobbit at his side.  
No! Bofur thought. He has a son!  
Bilbo saw Bofur and motioned him over. "Bofur!" he said, wrapping the dwarf in a friendly hug. "I haven't seen you since you told me to run five years ago."  
"I know," was all he replied with.  
"I'd love for you to meet my nephew!" Bilbo said, wrapping his arm around the hobbitling. "Frodo, this is a good friend of mine named Bofur."  
He's his nephew, Bofur thought with relief.  
"Hello, Frodo," Bofur said, tipping his hat.  
The hobbitling giggled, then reached out his tiny hand to shake. "You're funny."  
The dwarf smiled, then gave Frodo a hug.  
Hours later, after a long dinner filled with apologies, forgiveness, and long stories, Bilbo put Frodo to bed, then came to Bofur. His face looked sad.  
"What's wrong?" Bofur asked.  
"They'll let us stay in Erebor, right?" Bilbo asked, concern flashing through his blue eyes.  
"Who?"  
"Thorin."  
"Of course! He begged for your forgiveness tonight."  
Bilbo gave him a small smile. "Good." Then he wrapped his arms around Bofur. Bofur breathed in his earthy smell, tears forming at his eyes. He'd waited five years for this moment. "I love you."  
"Me too," Bofur said.  
"The circumstances were strange," Bilbo said, "but I'll take them."  
The kiss that ensued was long and sweet.  
"Just promise me one thing," Bilbo said.  
"What?" Bofur asked.  
"Don't disappoint Frodo."  
"Now why would I?"  
The smile that ran across Bilbo's lips nearly melted Bofur's heart.


End file.
